True Confessions

submitted by Heather Meyers

She was a child star who grew in to a worldwide chart-topping adult with a dark secret. Now Alanis Morissette has broken her silence about the sinister sugar daddies of her early teens".

"I've covered his ass for years," she tells John Harris

" Chocolate and Advil requests Alanis Morissette as a record company employee offers to visit a nearby convenience store. Her face cracks in to a mock of horror "Well I guess that tells you what time of the month it is" in the circumstances, she's bearing up well. We are in an upstairs function area at the Russian Tea Room the pillar of New York high society. It's an environment not too dissimilar to the inside of a Faberge's egg - all unspeakably gaudy wall paper, geometric carpet and vast light fittings at the Q photographers behest Morissette is wedged in to a corner dressed in a see- through green blouse that instantly answers the questions that the male mind cannot help but ask. During our allotted 30 minutes, the demeanor of the tea room's staff nearly reflects the history of Russia between the wars at first, they treat the Q party as a welcome novelty show, us upstars and trustingly leaving us to get one with it. Within 20 minutes, they are displaying a marked authoritarian steak. After an half hour, with Morissette posing in her diaphanous glory in a corridor, it's all loud knocking on the door and claims of counter- governmental subversion. So it is that, with impatient waiters circling, we return to Morissette's mid town hotel room and plot a dinner date downtown. Q rather expects a smoked glass people carrier to arrive, Morissette has something a little more straight forward in mind " Let's take the subway" she suggests.....

IT IS ONE OF ROCKS MUSIC'S Great unspoken truths that many of the alleged hazards of being extremely famous exist only in the minds of the extremely famous themselves. Our 20 minute subway ride with a woman whose debut album sold 28 million certainly suggest as much: aside from the odd shy stare, Morissette attracts nothing in the way of bother, This she explains, is in the New York way: out in the sticks, recognition is more commonplace, though easily parried " They usually say you look like Alanis Morissette." she says, and I tend to say "Oh really"?

Morissette and Q duly go over ground in the SoHo districts and take a booth at the Spring Street Natural Restaurant, a proudly organic gaff. She opts for dish involving some unidentifiable brasicca and an ocean of green lentils, and orders us two iced herbal teas. Her choices are in keeping with a recent dietary innovation owing to fluctuations in blood sugar she has decided to spurn anything remotely steady - which means that pasta, bread, rice and potatoes have left her universe)and not entirely surprisingly, she has lost quite a lot of weight) Our conversation first alights on the follow up to Jagged Little Pill. 1998's purgative Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie All morning. Q has been listening to it trying to resist the familiar temptation to repeat- play the twinkly beautiful single Thank U in order rather to concentrate on the grueling but illuminating Baba and Sympathetic Character. all told, attempts have not been to successful.

" With Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie I was writing in this fishbowl", she explains. "I felt so much pressure to write and to hurry, and there was a part of me that just wanted to tell everybody to just fuck off. Like I love you but fuck off, and just give me some space. When it came to structure. And the amount of songs on the record and some of the subject matter was a rebellion on my part, I was just saying I want to write this for myself, and I'm not going to adhere to what everyone thinks I should do "Supposed is my fuck you record " I tend to think of it as being the conceptual (raises middle finger) bird."

It sold a lot less than JLP how did you feel about that?

"I didn't care, I think I might've been the only person who didn't care"

One matter enquires mentioning Alanis Morissette has a deserved reputation for spewing psychobabble in 1998, attempting to explain the thinking behind SFIJ she said " I believe that the consciousnesses of the earth have shifted forever and my consciousness is to question who am I all the time and hopefully at some point define it". You see clear as mud) ok all my hands hurt so I skipped some....

Hands Clean has one clear implication there were some rum goings- on with older men, one could in fact be forgiven for inferring an act of child abuse although the Canadian age of consent is 14. 'Is it drawn from my own experience"? she considers. "yeah" the versus are being sung to me from this person's prospective, and the chorus and the bridge are me singing back to them from the present time. It was just not wanting to silence myself anymore"

When did this experience Happen?

"When I was 14 to 17 or 18" And was it a relationship. such as?

"mmm hmmm"

How old was he?

"He was 15 years older than me, there was more than one: whether it was like father issues or water ever, when I was younger I used to date who were ridiculously older than me"

When you were 14?

"Between 14 and 15 I started kind of going in that direction. For some reason, I look at photos of myself at that age and I look 35. I was trying to always look older. Not only was I in these patriarchal environments, but I was also in the middle of all these ageist environments, you know, not only was I a girl, but I was a young girl. It was like a double - whammy of prejudice, so I tried to counteract by trying to be really mature and trying to look older."

These men could have been prosecuted right? "technically, probably yeah, but the truth of the matter is I believe in consequence but I don't believe in punishment"

But you bear the man in the song a grudge, you feel you were emotionally compromised

"The grudge is a grudge I hold against myself for being quiet for so long. I've covered his ass for so many years, so now it's like.. I wanted to liberate myself from not beating myself up any longer. It's almost irrespective of his involvement, now it's more about me and my relationship with myself and my own past"

Would the word "abuse" fit the experience?

"It's a touch thing because as an adult I'm one to take responsibility really quickly and not blame someone. As teenagers, I don't know how much responsibility we can take. Where's the turning point where you have to start being an adult and take responsibility, I don't feel like a victim, I never really have"?.......

taken from Q Magazine